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Even four years of maturity and healing had not changed that. Much as she loved her cousin, she feared that unattainable part of him would be a barrier to the kind of marriage she wanted. No, Dex was not the right husband for her, and a load was lifted from her heart."Um, Dex, you called me Lover, which brings up the big question. Is sex between us over?" For myself, I don't want it to be. For Connie, though... she has to know she's the only one. If she thought she was not enough for me, all my work on her self-worth would be wiped out."I haven't been to bed with Rick, yet, but I'm starting to feel committed to him. Oh, God, this is so hard! I know it's right, but..." Whatever else she was going to say was lost in sobs."Donna, Honey. Only two people who love each other like we do could have the strength to do this. I will always love you, you know that. Not having sex won't change that."Dex thought many times over the next several weeks about Donna's question: was Connie his lover or. I understand.....but...but I have never seen..." "Did it get you excited?" "Yes, excited is the right word., Sylvia." "Did it get your dick hard, Joe?' "Sylvia, please..." I was so happy to see him. Here was my lover, my Nonno, the grandpa I never had, who I could be as sexy and as dirty with as I wanted, or, at least as much as he would let me be, here at this party, my little slave-bitch birthday. I sat in his lap and put my arms around him and kissed him, and kissed him until he gently pushed me away. "I came to wish you a happy birthday, my dear one. Your friend Sarah got me this nice set of clothes, and she told me you are going the be the Queen of the Night" from "Magic Flute, and sing that aria about all that hate in your heart, yes?" I could play the piano for you if you like....''. "But, when I came in the door, you were with your friend, so intimate, so beautiful. Most men my age, they are home to watch "The Price is Right" on their TV, yes? Perhaps that is even when death.
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